029A7: Pain

Stranger Things T-Shirt

Metro Manila Community Quarantine - Day 411

I officially aborted my current Nike Training Club app Lean Fit workout plan a few days short of its scheduled end date because of the continuing pain in my back. Tobie's assessment that it's probably intercostal muscle strain, and this seems very likely. We're not exactly at the point where it feels safe enough to go see a doctor to confirm this, so for now I'm avoiding strenuous physical activity and doing my best to manage the pain. It's annoying since it means that I'm going to get heavier without regular physical activity. For this to happen on the same week that I broke keto for Tobie's mango bravo cake (still worth it though), this means that I'm definitely not in ketosis for another 10 days. 

Without thinking, my shirt for today was the Stranger Things shirt that I received as a gift from the FGTC group. But these are the things that really make me think of Karen and her generosity and her many, many gifts. Whenever she'd travel, she'd bring little things home for everyone and it was always just a delightful and thoughtful thing to do. I guess it was helpful that work is crazy busy this week that I really don't have enough time to get lost thinking about her no longer being among us.

Such a heavy week. And it's not quite over yet. 

I didn't feel like joining the geek Zoom tribute to Karen. I know many of them but they really don't feel like our circle, when you get down to it. We all grieve in our own way, of course. And admittedly we go to know Karen a lot better because of our monthly gaming meet-ups. And that's how I want to remember her - always welcoming us into her home. Enjoying games together. All the conversations at her balcony and she and other friends would take a smoking break between games. So many, many good memories.

We canceled all Baduy Pride episodes for the rest of the week since we're not quite in the best state to put on a show. Given how Karen always made time to watch when she could, I feel like we eventually need to do something for her. I just don't know what. Maybe it'll be an episode. Maybe we'll just play games in her memory. Maybe we just need to enjoy life as she would. 

At our age, our social circles have gotten a lot smaller and more select. And when you lose one of the people you've been holding especially close to your heart throughout this pandemic, it really cuts deep. I'm glad that we had managed a few online gaming meet-ups throughout the quarantine and still had fun with the group. Just hearing the chatter of two different games taking place at the same time felt so comforting, like when we'd be gaming at Karen's unit and have multiple games going on at the same time.

Our game nights won't ever be the same without her. 

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