028E7: Minor Mental Drift

Baked Salmon

Metro Manila Community Quarantine - Day 219

My mind feels somewhat adrift at the moment. I don't necessarily feel bad or sad or anything. But it's just a little hard to focus. Like I can't quite grip things in my mind for long and I just move on from idle thought to idle thought. It makes it hard to write or think about playing a game. Passive activities like watching Unsolved Mysteries on Netflix are generally okay, but even then I sometimes miss a few details here and there.

This is not the first time I've experienced this throughout the lockdown, and I'm sure it's not going to be the last. It's an annoying experience, but I recognize it's probably some weird effect of this unique situation we're all being subjected to while under extended quarantine. Times like this I either want to just read or maybe take photos of my toys or even just organize photos of our collection. But I'm feeling a little lazy, so that leaves me with Netflix and maybe digital reading content. 

And then time will just fly by as I drift and it'll be time for bed. What a life. 

It's a little easier to deal with work - that gives a person clear objectives and deadlines and it keeps productivity a bit more of a non-negotiable obligation of sorts. It's what comes after once the workday is done that sometimes has me feeling like this. Maybe it's because of the limited free time there is after work making weird connections in my head? Or perhaps it's still that desire to find ways to get friends over, but that's a strange notion given we normally wouldn't have guests on weeknights anyway. But part of me feels that's connected somehow?

After tonight's Baduy Pride episode, Tobie asked me if I wanted to like to leave a Facebook Messenger Room open so friends can drop by, but I didn't feel like it. Rooms have some value in the area of online socializing, but a lot of times people just don't join or are busy doing Monday things. And the disappointment of not getting people to join the Room can be rather disappointing as well and it dissuades me from doing it again. More ironic thinking given how I celebrated our online calls just yesterday. 

That's probably what annoys me the most about moments like this - the lack of logic. It doesn't make sense, but there it is, a cloud sitting in my brain. It's a feeling that is har do shake or even get a proper handle on. I can't fully describe it because the words fail to come especially when I'm in drift mode. So we just float. 

And we hope tomorrow turns out better.


  1. Just because it lacks logic doesn't make the feelings less valid! Hope your week has been getting better.

    1. Nowhere near perfect, but getting better. Just keeping things in motion for now.


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