02D38: Still Not Writing Yet

Tuesday - Mushroom Pasta

 When I really like a book, one of the main ways I celebrate that fact is by reading passages aloud to Tobie. And across the duology (for now?) of Boyfriend Material and Husband Material, I've been reading aloud to Tobie a LOT. And of course, Tobie reminds me that I should write a book of my own when I get this excited for a bit of fiction. 

Aside: I feel like I tend to take on the tone of the book that I'm reading when I really get into it, but let's see how this goes.

I was thinking about making my blog post today about the fact that Tobie is once again nudging me to write while we were finishing up at the grocery. Then Tobie just turned around and said "Write your book!" out of the blue, because that's our life together. I sometimes worry that anything I end up writing, especially if related to romance or just gay relationships in general, might end up sounding overly unrealistic because I have a very weird perspective. 

Ever since Tobie and I first got together, we've had a lot of these ESP-like moments. I don't think we are genuinely capable of communicating with one another telepathically (although Tobie likes to joke it's real but it's mainly one-way with me as the sender), we do have a very strong, intuitive sense of what the other is thinking. We don't perfectly complete each other's sentences but we're very good at answering questions before they're verbalized, if that makes any sense. Logically, I'd like to dismiss this as just coincidences or at least us knowing each other pretty well; we've also had way too many too-specific-to-be-coincidence incidents in our 15 years of being a part of each other's life. 

Tobie's the guy who was very proud of the fact that he's very much into rom-coms and yet here I am gushing over novels that scratch a similar itch. It would be funny if I ended up exploring this genre as my long-overdue creative output, but I'm not counting my book series just yet (and that was a terrible attempt at a clever turn of phrase). But there's the possibility that this still won't be the thing that truly spurs me into writing, but who knows. My longest attempt at writing a book was a mixed science fiction-fantasy sort of deal, which feels more my speed. But I never see those efforts through so maybe not. 

I fully embrace the irony that I repeatedly lament about not writing by writing about it in a very public forum like this blog. I've maintained a number of blogs over the years and thus the bulk of my writing has been public. So that's sort of like writing a book - but it's also not. Writing anything close to a book requires a lot more discipline and thought in order to see a story through all the way to the end. And I haven't really felt like it was time to really devote myself to this sort of an effort. 

I often complain about not having a story to tell and that is a legitimate struggle for any writing. It is said that there's nothing new under the sun, but any creator will still feel obliged to try to introduce something new into the world. And the irony is not lost on me that I just reassured Tobie about this fact given his self-doubt related to his own creation going out into the world earlier during dinner. 

But that's just how we work, I suppose. We complement one another in so many ways. And we support one another whole-heartedly in all of our endeavors. And while it totally stresses me out every time he reminds me that I should try to write something - anything at this point, I also know that it's exactly what I need from him.

I'll figure it out eventually and get some sort of creative written work out there one day. And I know that I'll have Tobie to thank for being there.

Even if he needs to get out of my brain and stop eavesdropping on my thoughts.