02C45: State of Satisfaction

Monday Mushroom Soup

Metro Manila Community Quarantine - Day 1073

One of the main reasons I've kept up with blogging for so long is that I typically treat it as a means of catharsis apart from very loose historical documentation. I still try to make mention of key headlines here and there to help time-place set my posts in the context of what's going on in the world. But as for the catharsis bit...I dunno.

To be fair, there are times when I do have something bothering me, and writing about it does help to make me feel better. I don't necessarily need to go into detail about what's bother me, but even alluding to these things and writing about my feelings helps to ease some of my distress. 

But a lot of times, I find myself staring at the empty blog page not knowing where to begin. I used to attribute this to feeling very tired or drained and so nothing comes to mind. But today I was wondering if it's less about being too tired to think and maybe more...just not having anything to relieve myself of. I don't want to sound like I'm bragging, but I have to admit that life is pretty good and I don't have something to complain or rant about every single day.

Sure, there will always be problems and things that I wish would go more my way. Everyone will feel that way sooner or later. But I guess what I'm trying to say is that things aren't immediately terrible or maybe the life that Tobie and I have managed for ourselves already helps us deal with most of my day-to-day stress. 

Blogging is a solitary activity, ironically enough. As much as this is published on the public internet, each post only gets about 20-30 views unless I'm talking about a particularly hot topic. So that means most of my ramblings about my personal life doesn't get a lot of attention. And it's not like I get a lot of comments either. Writing is something you do on your own and Tobie typically has to wait for me to get through the daily blog post before I'm more free for the things. 

But it's no longer my main way of dealing with stressful events. And I recognize that I am at a great place career-wise since we're running our business as opposed to me killing myself slowly working night shift hours at a BPO. A lot has changed in my life since my call center years and even with the pandemic, I think Tobie and I just managed to pull closer together. And that has done me a world of good - and I hope that Tobie feels similarly supported despite his own sources of stress. 

I hope you all find a state of personal satisfaction sooner rather than later. This doesn't mean you don't have problems, but at the very least you're better able to manage them or how they make you feel. That's a pretty good goal despite this crazy country we live in.