02A7A: Leaving Messages for Myself

Wednesday Pork Chops

Metro Manila Community Quarantine - Day 620

Work has been pretty interesting, to say the least. I had a good mix of administrative tasks essential to keeping operations running, some internal development duties that remain more rewarding, and of course client stuff that really challenge you to think of creative solutions. I've been wrestling with this particular client challenge since yesterday, although you could argue it's part of a larger situation that has been dragging on for months now. But I can get pretty stubborn about these sorts of things because I'm determined to find a solution to things. I'm kind of hard-wired to solve puzzles like these because even work challenges are ultimately puzzles with solutions just out of immediate reach. One just has to think things through long enough and figure out which angle to take things.

Whew, my last work task got resolved just now as I compose this blog post. Big sigh of relief! That just leaves all my other tasks left for tomorrow.

There's a lot of things I want to write about that I want to get out of my head and onto the "page", but I don't quite know where to begin. I tried to address some of it yesterday, but I don't think I'm quite done just yet. Yesterday was disorganized and messy. And I don't think I've thought things through enough to really figure out how to put things into words - especially blog-worthy words if you get my drift. 

I often joke that blogging is performance writing, which could be redundant since the value of most written things is best realized when someone else gets to read what you've written. But blogging in particular puts a focus on taking a generally private activity (i.e. journaling) but combines it with a public venue (i.e. the internet). And no matter how cavalier I can seem in terms of what I write about here, there will always be some degree of self-editing at work. I can't just write anything that I want to since friends and family can read this along with workmates and industry colleagues. And don't even get me started on those I no longer consider to be friends, who could very well take any opportunity to try to use my words against me and those I love. It's that kind of a world at times.

So blogging, especially the way I approach it these days (or at least in recent years), is still very controlled and filtered. I've made mistakes in the past and I have learned from them. I try to remain professional when I talk about work and I try to be respectful when I talk about friends and family. I'm not perfect, but I try very hard to be careful when my writing involves other people. 

But it still helps me process how I feel from day to day as the exercise of capturing my thoughts into words AND avoiding crossing the many lines I've set myself makes this quite the creative exercise. I can re-read old entries and find myself reminded of the real stories I wanted to write about but had to leave hidden between the lines of text instead. I probably won't remember every story, but I'm sure most of them will come back to me when they need to.