029F6: Workout Pushing


Metro Manila Community Quarantine - Day 488

Taking things a little slower on the workout yesterday sort of helped today. I was able to dive into one of the more intense workouts that are pegged to last about 40 minutes but I somehow finished in under 25 minutes. this is one of those rep-based workouts that I do manage to consistently finish below the estimated time, but this feels like a new record for me. And I have to admit that whenever I get a rep-based workout, it's my personal goal to push hard enough to finish early. It's not like I'm rushing through my sets and forgetting about my form - I'm very conscious about that all throughout. But I do consistently try to push the intensity as much as I can and my ability to do so has steadily gotten better over the past year of working out. 

One of the weirder parts of my working out includes me documenting my progress, photographically speaking. Admittedly this started as a personal thing - stolen photos in the bathroom that I'd show Tobie when I get home and ultimately just save to a virtual photo album so I can track things over time. But eventually, I found the nerve confidence to start to post some of these photos on social media, albeit with consideration to the audiences for those platforms. In short - everyone gets the sweat photos right after I finish but I don't post the shirtless stuff willy-nilly.

All this still surprises me at times. As much as I've generally been comfortable in my own skin and confident enough to carry conversation or dance to my heart's content while at O Bar, the past few years of weight loss have really done something else for me. Sure it's a lot of hard work and sacrifice, but I honestly feel better not just in terms of my physical health but also with regard to how I appreciate myself. I didn't think I needed this change in my life before, but I do appreciate that I'm on this journey now.

I still wonder if I'm actually more "conventionally attractive" when I stare in the mirror. Social media, especially platforms like Twitter, make it really easy to see the sort of guys who get a lot of attention online or even get a lot of indecent proposals in public. Yes, I'm happily in a relationship and I'm not exactly looking for that sort of thing, but there's also that vain side of me that would like to have the option to turn down more unwanted interest? But yeah, despite my age I still find myself wondering if I have that sort of appeal, regardless of my weight and whatnot. 

Then again, I concede that I'm not the most sociable person, even online. I'm great with friends, but I figure I'm not necessarily that open to strangers. And Tobie and I can be somewhat iconoclasts when it comes to interests and thus most of what get people excited on social barely resonates with us. But that's just how it is, I guess.

Anyway, another day of bodyweight exercises tomorrow. Then back to the gym come the weekend. I'm still hoping to get out of this weight plateau, but it's too soon to see any effects from my return to Anytime Fitness this month.  Just gotta keep reminding myself to keep pushing. I'm not much for sprinting, but I should cross the finish line...eventually.