02922: The Daily Struggle

Rong Hua Bak Kut Teh

Metro Manila Community Quarantine - Day 278

I concede that posting fitness progress photos has helped to motivate me in my efforts to lose weight and get fitter. And together with the occasional compliments from friends, I've also had a few friends joke about the inevitable holiday weight.

To be fair, this hasn't really been an issue ever since I started keto. The family has been supportive of this major lifestyle change and they've made sure to include keto-friendly options as part of the Christmas dinner menu and so I haven't needed to break keto even over the holiday period. If anything, I have indulged in a slice of real cake for a birthday here or there and thankfully didn't experience any significant weight gain during those periods. So I've soldiered on.

The workouts are a part of the daily routine as well, for the most part. I feel bad when I don't work out since I know that my weigh-in will be terrible. And yes, I weigh myself daily. But I still struggle to get out of bed to do them every time. Sometimes I play around with the app settings and give myself breaks like yoga days to relax between more intense circuit training routines. 

Just today I was facing one of the high-intensity workouts that span 45 minutes. I had nudged this one back a few days because my right arm felt wrong the other day and I didn't want to force it. But today I knew I had to face it even though I had done the same workout so many times before throughout this year. But it still wasn't any easier to get started.

When this happens, I pace the Sietch so that I at least generate steps. It looks extra stupid, in my mind at least) given I tend to already be in my workout gear. But a lot of times, I feel that I need to psyche myself up as I walk, tell myself to get over it, and just do it. I find myself constantly checking the time since I know my window will eventually close and I won't have enough time to work out before needing to clock in for work. That's the last-resort motivation, really. Leaving myself no choice since I know I'll feel even worse if I weigh-in without having worked out first.

So when people say they admire me for my fitness efforts, I do appreciate that a lot. I try to look at it as them indirectly acknowledging this daily struggle that goes on in my head every time it's time to work out in the morning. It's not like I have it easier than anyone else, especially for folks in a similar heavier weight range - not that it's easier for slimmer guys trying to bulk up to work out as well. We are all on a journey that is a battle we fight every single day. But we just have to do our best to keep fighting.

Even if that means that the closest I get to Recovery Days are when I allocate less strenuous yoga workouts for myself.