0248D: Starts and Stops

Dory and Bacon

Metro Manila Community Quarantine - Day 129

I recognize the subtle effects that quarantine stress (or at least as I refer to it) has been affecting me. I'm still largely functional - meals are prepared, chores are addressed and my work tasks get completed. But every now and then I feel myself slowing down to downright stalling/pausing and not being able to move forward.

I know the stress is getting to me when I struggle to write an update for this blog. When I can't parse my thoughts and feelings about the day into words, then that tells me something is wrong. When I can't find the energy to play a game or do more than just watch stupid Netflix or YouTube content, then yeah maybe the situation is getting to me. 

A friend suggested that I try taking a walk when I feel like this, but going outdoors still gets me a little nervous. After all, we're trying to respect the conditions of the government quarantine and limit trips outside the home to essential travel only. But maybe a mental health walk could be considered essential? Or maybe I should meditate - my Fitbit has a guided meditation feature I've never tried out, so that's something to consider. 

The occasional yoga routine that I get through the Nike Training Club app helps a bit - as does working out in general. I'm not sure if I'm ready to just be still and quiet for meditation, but my mind does wander when I jog or follow my different workouts, so that's sort of meditative. And the reassure of the routine still helps me get through the day. It has been a lot harder to first get out of bed to get the routine started, but at least I'm still getting up, right?

As much as updating the blog feels like a bit of a struggle at times, I still think it helps since I'm essentially turning to journal writing for processing my day. But for a change for pace, I managed to write a short update for our couple blog, Baduy Pride, and that was a lot easier to write. I guess it flowed more since it's just a celebration of yet another happy moment that Tobie had managed to execute, as is his way. And celebrating the good things in our lives is also a great way of coping with the stressful situation we're in. Maybe I should write more updates for my other blogs. They've barely had any activity in months.