02530: Paternal Echoes

My relationship with my biological father was not a great one for a variety of reasons, but that's well in the past now. Looking back, I can acknowledge that one of the best things about him is how he'd dote on children. He's can be quite the fun "older brother" sort of playmate for toddlers and that's certainly a good thing.

That came up today as the family was hanging out together and I was busy playing with my nephew Mason. I'm not going to lie - I know I dote on the kid and I'm more than willing to make a fool of myself for his entertainment. I have no idea if this will translate us into having a good relationship as he grows up, but for now, I'm doing my best and hope he's having fun. And in that regard, I guess I've become my father. Again.

On more than one occasion I have remarked that I'd do anything for the kid. My theoretical example was being open to answering any question he'd have once he starts talking but now it includes things like carrying him around S&R on a shoulder harness so that he's not so bored in the shopping cart. It's an odd bonding experience, but I'm enjoying it a lot and he seems to have fun up there.

There was a time in my life that I sort of tried to escape my father's "legacy", or whatever we want to call it. But no matter what I do, there's a lot of him in me including my love for science fiction and even certain gestures and mannerisms that I don't realize I'm doing. To add insult to injury, I've now started jogging regularly, which is also something he used to do. It has been a few years since he passed and I think I'm pretty over that by now. I can only hope that I focus on the better stuff about him and not fall into the pitfalls of the less than great stuff. And I know that boils down to me - we are responsible for who we are and how we continue to better ourselves.