02396: Living Together

I've been wanting to write this post for Baduy Pride for some time now, but could never seem to get around to it. So now I'll write it here since I wanted to share this with a larger audience but I'll probably post a link summary on the other blog just so it fits better.

For most of my committed life across all of my relationships, I've mostly lived in together with my partner. Sure there were the school days when I was limited to distinct dates and meet-ups in order to see my boyfriend at the time but given the unique circumstances of my younger years I've largely lived in quickly. That hasn't been without its share of risks and challenges, but then it certainly has a lot of perks as well.

When I read social media updates about how friends only get to see their significant others at best weekly or sometimes even less, it breaks my heart. Maybe I'm an old dog too set in my ways at this point but I really can't imagine living apart from Tobie or even just living alone for that matter. Even when we're not together because of work- or family-related travel, there's still some comfort to be gained from knowing that he goes home to the Sietch, the place that we share together as a couple.

It's easy to dismiss this as something about the obvious economic benefits of living together such as being able to pool resources or having an extra pair of hands to help with chores. But there are also challenges like really learning about all the little habits and quirks of your partner or needing to redefine your concept of privacy to factor in someone else in your daily life. The benefits definitely outweigh the risks as long as you're in a good relationship and I know I'm terribly lucky with Tobie.

So while living together may mean always having someone to cuddle with at night, it also means farting in front of the other while alone together with no one else to blame. You get to enjoy meals together but it also means you'll inevitably have a conversation while one of you is busy in the bathroom. It's equal parts joyful and silly each and every day. But I wouldn't  have things any other way.

It may not work out for everyone and some aren't ready to redefine their lives in this manner even after being in a relationship for several years. But when you are ready then it's definitely a good thing and it's worth the added happiness and love to be discovered together.