02141: An Unsettling Diagnosis

So today was Yoshi's monthly follow-up visit to the vet to check on the progress of his kidney disease. For the most part things have seemed okay to us since Yoshi has remained quite lively and energetic, albeit with the odd moment of his appetite waning to some degree. We've countered such moments with a lot of determination and hard work as we keep up with all of his medications and other recommended activities as prescribed by his doctors.

While I wasn't expecting a miracle today, I was hoping for generally good news with the understanding that his kidney condition was a permanent one. On the plus side  his kidney profile looked pretty good with his creatinine holding at the same level as when he was released from confinement in December bit now with his albumin and phosphate levels finally more or less normal.

Hoever his blood test showed that his anemia had become severe, so much so that his doctor was prescribing additional supplements and was asking me to watch out for signs of things getting worse within the next 24 hours. I've always considered her to be a rather cautious doctor who has done all her best throughout this situation to remind us that there were no guarantees and that we had to take his condition day by day. But today felt like she wanted to say things were critical but didn't in order to avoid making me panic or something. But how else is one to feel when you're bring reminded to contact her at any time or to be prepared to rush him to the vet clinic for emergency care.

I have to admit that I feel some degree of denial appetite through all this. Apart from the inconsistent appetite and some weird isolationist behavior when all this started, Yoshi had been pretty normal. He gets excited when anyone is at the door and he loves to walk around BGC. He has been quite social with guests and we still get to play our little games. And yet it seems his medical results choose to worst say otherwise and Tobie and I are trying to steel ourselves for the worst.

We both love Yoshi and we will fight for him as best as we can but we also don't want him to suffer. But for now it's not immediately clear to me where we stand. For now I just want to hold him close. I don't want to let go. I always want him to be by my side.

Pets die, as do many other things. I know this and it's not like I haven't dealt with the death of a pet before. But it never gets easier either and I know that when Yoshi's time comes I'll be terribly heartbroken indeed. But for now we will fight this and maybe we'll prove the test results wrong and in the end Yoshi will be just fine.

One can only hope.