01981: Conditioned Stress

So last night's client visit generally went off without any major glitches and such, which is a good thing. However this did not prevent me from totally stressing myself out more than I should have. You know it's bad when your country manager thinks you look sick as you stress over everything falling into place precisely.

It all sort of reflects just how much I want things to go well. It just gets a little frustrating when you have too many moving pieces on the board and the wild card of Metro Manila traffic threatening to totally derail your time table. Then things shift and you end up way ahead of schedule and thus once again needing to shift things around. Too many plates in the air can be really stressful.

It's moments like these that really demonstrate what a control freak I can be. I think I had similar behaviors when it came to group projects back in school. If doing things myself would result in a better grade, I'd often prefer that to risking too much on the efforts of others. It's a rather juvenile way of looking at things and I've learned the value of cooperation and delegation since then. But still, I can also see the core tendency still being there.

And all this for just a few hours of entertaining clients. And considering I'm going to do it all over again later tonight, I really need to take a chill pill or something. Sheesh.