01975: Spinning Tops

Like many people on the internet, I often feel that I over think things more often than I should. It's a habit of sorts that I've always had dating back to my younger school years and it's not one that I've managed to let go of. To be fair, we're not talking about the sort of over thinking and mindless worrying that leaves one stuck in an infinite loop of analysis paralysis or anything like this. This is more the sort of over thinking that results in you trying to think of every possible eventually and allocating mental resources to develop action plans to deal with each of those scenarios. Even a mind that isn't quite as creative as others like my mind, that still means a lot of different scenarios to consider.

My mom once taught us siblings that if we weren't nervous before a test, then we were either over confident or hadn't actually studied enough. The implication is that you can never be too prepared for anything and that someone determined enough to excel will always think of new ways to fail and will try to find a way to prevent such eventualities. My brain still works in a fashion like this and it can drive one bonkers.

When work gets particularly busy, my brain seems to go into overdrive because of this pattern of behavior that is practically hard-wired into my system. Whenever I have more to deal with at work, all the more my brain goes a little bonkers and the stress begins to eat away at me to some extent. And as much I have little outputs for this stress like this blog, the very nature of work means that I can't write about any of the specifics - that would be horribly unprofessional.

And so I write vague, rather emotionally-charged posts like this instead.