01814: A Moment to Breathe

After days of a lot of bouts of unexpected crying spells, turbulent emotions and a lot of pain, today is shaping up to be a moment of relative calm. Tobie and I have had a number of conversations about the loss of PJ and all the emotions that we're experiencing and that's definitely helping. Without his support, I don't know how bad I'd be like - and it's something that goes both ways for sure.

We're not out of the wood yet - there's a fair amount of grieving that we still need to get through. But today just feels quite a bit lighter for one reason or another. And for that I'm grateful - I wouldn't be surprised if that's a little gift from PJ.

The weekend is upon us - at least once I get past tonight's final work shift of the week. At first it seemed impossible to think of what we'd want to do given all that we've been dealing with this week. Being happy or celebrating anything with friends seems like such a distant concept that's hard to accept. And while those plans remain in flux, at least we're not hiding away from the world or anything like that.

There's a lot of learning that has to happen - understanding what will define our friendships moving forward, what limits we might want to set or even just who we might want to engage with. But we'll figure it all out, I'm sure. We always find a way.

In the meantime, just breathe.