0174F: January Break-Ups on Social Media

I think it was on social media (versus on this blog) that I commented on the number of break-ups that seem to have taken place this past January. It's sort of a normal thing since people are so tied to the calendar system, thus January is always seen as a great time for new beginnings. But you can't begin new stuff until you resolve the old ones and thus all the break-ups and people quitting their jobs. There's also the government-mandated 13th month pay that also drives human behavior in the Philippines, but I don't think I can correlate that with the relationship question just yet.

Break-ups are never easy. During my past break-ups, I know I invested a lot of energy into my writing. Thus I have posts on things you don't want to hear from friends, an immediate break-up strategy, things that annoy me about online dating and even a hodgepodge of reflections about how I was dealing with my being single.

The whole social media experience means that we all become participants (because voyeurism is participation as they say) in these break-ups to one degree or another. You don't even need to ask what happened or stuff like that. No matter how much people say that they won't air their dirty laundry in public, the effects of that break-up will inevitably change a lot of things. And for the more keen observers, you'll be able to read a lot into what people are posting about, and more importantly what they're not posting about. Overall it's a rather sad thing, and often times I find myself wanting to find a way to reach out and show support without seeming to be nosy.

What really saddens me is how a lot of folks try to deal with their break-ups by not dealing with them at all. In the gay world, that means rushing to get back into the dating (read: hook-up) scene and finding more and more ways to numb themselves in order to avoid dealing with the pain of their loss. And it's even weirder when such actions are broadcast on the internet in some weird practice that's somewhere between grandstanding and peacocking. Yes, I know a lot of folks feel the need to address the feelings of loss and emptiness by finding another way body to hold close to you, but totally says a lot about your ability to cope with the harsher truths in life.

I think what amuses (or annoys - or saddens) me the most when people are quick to say (as publicly as possible) that moving on is easy for them and justify this with their ability to find someone else to hook-up with. That's really not moving on at all. A no amount of one-night stands or even full-blown orgies will change that fact.

But I suppose we need to leave people to their self-delusions, right? At the end of the day, it's none of our business. And the only person that can truly help people who fall into this niche are themselves.


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