0157B: Elevator Action Plan

I've been ranting about work almost religiously in recent blog entries, so I'll talk about something completely different given work is still rather stressful.

Let's talk about elevator etiquette.

Yes, this is seriously what I want to talk about, because people do some crazy things when it comes to elevators. And on this subject, I have a few key ideas.

Proximity is Key - There's always the question of who should operate the elevator panel given how most elevators run on full automatic, especially in offices. My rule of thumb is that the person closest to the elevator is responsible for operating it. Thus if you are right next to the panel and you see a large number of people are entering, have the decency of pushing the Open button to help everyone else. By the same virtue, if you are the first person to enter the elevator as there are a group of you waiting outside, then do the reasonable thing and get to that panel and hold the doors open. This is a lot better than some unwitting passenger having to deal with the elevator doors of death and it helps stop that tendency for people to hold onto the elevator call buttons on the outside, thus disrupting the rest of the elevator system.

The 50% Rule - There's the question of when is it appropriate to push the call button in order to open the doors of an elevator that's about to leave without you. My rule of thumb is that is the elevator doors are already about 50% closed, then it's probably bad form to start jabbing that elevator button. The only exception is if you are rushing to the hospital. And no, being late for your shift is not an excuse.

Silence in the Library - An elevator is a rather small space to be trapped in with other people. It goes without saying to try to end phone calls before you enter. In addition though, try not to talk as if you're deaf or have been drinking for hours. You know what I mean - the people who try to be louder than life and manage to talk in a manner that would make some stage actors seem as if they were whispering. Keep it down. And no, it's never appropriate to talk about your sexual exploits to the person on the other side of the elevator.

It's Not an Arcade - Stop jabbing at the buttons. This will not make the elevator go any faster. When the light on the button is on, it is already active. Stabbing it a few times will not call the elevator faster. It's not the elevator's fault that you didn't allot sufficient time for travel before getting here. Grow up.

Video Killed the Radio Star - And lastly, enough with the really loud music. Beyond the fact that I have no interest in hearing your "secret" Regine Velasquez playlist, I am seriously concerned for your ears. Music that loud can cause significant damage. And I don't want to be guilty of some sort of sin of omission while you ruin your ability to hear. And your music sucks.