0151A: Ex-Factoring

Earlier today I was drafting a post about the new O Bar Ortigas, as part of my way of supporting the bar. But part of writing this post was the need to link to other O Bar-related articles that I had published on the Geeky Guide, and that inevitably lead to re-reading a bunch of posts where I mentioned Prince frequently.

Now I've never been one to censor, thus I resorted to using strike-outs to clean up these posts, but naturally it still stirred a lot of emotions that had me feeling a bit confused for a moment.

You see, a part of me still went back down that lousy road of self-examination and wondering if I had done everything that I could to make things work or if I had been too hasty to judge or whatever. You know how it is - at least for those of you with hearts and consciences that you actually follow. We want to live our lives in a manner that we can live peacefully after all. I've done my best to avoid doing things that leave me feeling guilty for an indefinite period.

 So that had me going over other old blog posts and the like and before I could start feeling bad about the break-up. I figured I needed a cold dose of reality.

So I dug up my copy of the chat transcript that I never should have read, which had ultimately resulted in us breaking up last year. And yeah, that really did the trick. I didn't even finish reading that particular transcript - the first few pages alone were enough to get me back in a somewhat emotionally compromised state.

And thus the reason for this particularly nasty tweet this morning, which isn't something that I had not said before but certainly deserved repeating. Or at the very least I felt pretty good after posting it despite alarming some of my social media contacts to a limited extent. I guess we all need these emotional outbursts from time to time just to remain balanced and the like.

The end of the ASA Family was a particularly traumatic period, but really it was just the cherry on top of a whole massive sundae of dramatic trauma. And while that's a pretty weird analogy to make, I'm sticking with it for now. Anyway, back on point, as traumatic as things were I know that most of it I dealt with solely within the confines of the Sietch. Normally I'd want to write about such life events if only to better deal with them, but of course there's only so much that is appropriate to share without becoming a douche bag. So posts like these are moments when I lower my guard a bit and at also accept that it's really not that big a deal anymore.

For the most part I'd like to think that all three of us have moved on from that period. I know I'm finally happy again with Tobie in my life and I think he's pretty happy too. How Prince is feeling precisely is a little beyond me given he doesn't exactly talk to us anymore. But that's life, eh?

It's far too easy to wallow in your misery. Better to focus on the more important things in life, which are typically the things that make you happy and leave your heart feeling happily full.