This weekend, in hindsight, has been an interesting learning experience with respect to meeting people, as part of this whole being single experience. I've always said that I feel my social skills aren't very good and this has been the perfect opportunity to put those skills to the test. Life is certainly funny that way.
I've definitely had my share of hits and misses. And while my in-person meet-ups have been limited, I did cross a personal barrier of mine for a week or so and tried the social app arena to see what's out there. So yes, I ventured into the scary realm of Grindr and I tested the waters in Jack'd. I even listened to the recommendation of a new friend to try Growlr, but that's about as far as I went. After testing the various apps, I find myself better off without them entirely. But at least I tried and I learned a few things along the way.
Of course it felt a lot like the time I used to have gay social networking profiles on sites like Guys4Men (later Planet Romeo) or the somewhat more decent Downelink. This means that for some reason I tend to meet the very old guys who are lonely and just want someone to talk to or the young ones who are overeager and prone to weird faux pas. I don't mind talking to older folks since at least they talk and don't obsess over your physical attributes. Although it's sad how a lot of them sound rather desperate at times. The "kids" are certainly fun in their own right and can be nicely flattering at times. But then they are prone to rather extreme shifts in mood or just miss references entirely.
And let's not even start with the douche bags who are only focused on how much you weigh or how many seductive pictures you will send them (of which I have none). And there have even been geek posers whose profiles celebrate their interests and yet when you talk to them you know they're not quite as passionate as you'd like them to be.
There is no set "formula" for how to handle these types of interactions. It's trickier for me since I wasn't entirely using the apps for what has become their understood purpose - instant hook-ups. I'm not all that eager rush a meeting with a total stranger. I still want to get to know people better before "proceeding" with anything else. And that doesn't quite jive with most folks on these apps who constantly seek out "NSA fun" and all that silly stuff.
But despite all the riff-raff, it seems that the sediment has started to settle and the more worthy friends have started to separate from the rest. And since I'm no longer on the apps, I have more time to focus on building more meaningful friendships and to try to have a little fun further down the road.
It goes without saying that I ended up taking communications to the next level with a select few. And geekiness was a primary motivator in some cases while others were just fun. And while there were some interesting options that I thought were worth investing time and effort in, in the end I guess things had to happen as they did so I could see that I was potentially wasting my time. Or something like that.
Well, at least I have one good friend in the making right now (and yes we've finally met in person) and a kid on the fringes just for idle entertainment. I don't mean to sound to callous about things, but hey, we are talking about a guy from a social app. Bad Rocky. LOL
Upwards and onwards to better things and more geekery ahead!
I've definitely had my share of hits and misses. And while my in-person meet-ups have been limited, I did cross a personal barrier of mine for a week or so and tried the social app arena to see what's out there. So yes, I ventured into the scary realm of Grindr and I tested the waters in Jack'd. I even listened to the recommendation of a new friend to try Growlr, but that's about as far as I went. After testing the various apps, I find myself better off without them entirely. But at least I tried and I learned a few things along the way.
Of course it felt a lot like the time I used to have gay social networking profiles on sites like Guys4Men (later Planet Romeo) or the somewhat more decent Downelink. This means that for some reason I tend to meet the very old guys who are lonely and just want someone to talk to or the young ones who are overeager and prone to weird faux pas. I don't mind talking to older folks since at least they talk and don't obsess over your physical attributes. Although it's sad how a lot of them sound rather desperate at times. The "kids" are certainly fun in their own right and can be nicely flattering at times. But then they are prone to rather extreme shifts in mood or just miss references entirely.
And let's not even start with the douche bags who are only focused on how much you weigh or how many seductive pictures you will send them (of which I have none). And there have even been geek posers whose profiles celebrate their interests and yet when you talk to them you know they're not quite as passionate as you'd like them to be.
There is no set "formula" for how to handle these types of interactions. It's trickier for me since I wasn't entirely using the apps for what has become their understood purpose - instant hook-ups. I'm not all that eager rush a meeting with a total stranger. I still want to get to know people better before "proceeding" with anything else. And that doesn't quite jive with most folks on these apps who constantly seek out "NSA fun" and all that silly stuff.
But despite all the riff-raff, it seems that the sediment has started to settle and the more worthy friends have started to separate from the rest. And since I'm no longer on the apps, I have more time to focus on building more meaningful friendships and to try to have a little fun further down the road.
It goes without saying that I ended up taking communications to the next level with a select few. And geekiness was a primary motivator in some cases while others were just fun. And while there were some interesting options that I thought were worth investing time and effort in, in the end I guess things had to happen as they did so I could see that I was potentially wasting my time. Or something like that.
Well, at least I have one good friend in the making right now (and yes we've finally met in person) and a kid on the fringes just for idle entertainment. I don't mean to sound to callous about things, but hey, we are talking about a guy from a social app. Bad Rocky. LOL
Upwards and onwards to better things and more geekery ahead!
I never feel the need to meet new people. If i meet new people, it's usually by accident, haha. No extra effort exerted on my part.
ReplyDeleteWe're not exactly known for being friendly, hehehe
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