01407: The Plan So Far...

It has been exactly one week since the ASA Family broke up. And while the dust has yet to settle and we're still in the process of figuring out our living arrangements and our potential paths forward, I have begun to formulate my general plan of attack, at least with respect to my life in the immediate future.

First, I need to make the most of the single period. And what I mean by this is that there are things that I want to try doing on my own before even thinking about getting back into the relationship game. And this could mean anything traveling out of town on my own, spending more time with friends that I mostly talk to online and other such activities. The goal is not to focus on being "alone" as so many people seem to lament after a break-up. It's more about finding myself, reconnecting with things that I've somehow forgotten about or have intentionally ignored for one reason or another.

Should I get into another relationship - oh who am I kidding, that seems inevitable. In a recent conversation, a friend of mine stated that the way I approach things sort of defines me as "relationship material" - conversely it probably means that I'm not about to go into a slut phase or something like that. But back to the point I was trying to make, I want to figure out what "single" habits I want to retain should when I get into a commitment again. Since I do feel that I tend to over-commit myself into my relationships, it's important to "train" myself not to forget the importance of being a little selfish every now and then. It's all about balance after all.

The question of sexual relations will naturally come up - this is me talking about being single after all. And while I've previously made it clear that I don't intend to re-join the gay social network world nor will I sign up for location-based hook-up apps. And my experience at Bed last Saturday just reminded me that I'm not the most sociable of people, so I don't expect to be very productive in this regard as far as bars and clubs are concerned. That doesn't leave me with many alternatives outside of things like friends trying to fix me up on blind dates or something - heck, do people even do that anymore?

But let's not create undue pressure. I feel that's the biggest pitfall of those acquaintances who have remained single for a while. When you focus on the wrong things instead of just, well, fully defining who you are and what you want, then you buckle under the pressure and fall into less than desirable behaviors. And it's not exactly the same for any two people. Thus I know I have more uncharted territory to explore now

Wish me luck! I know I'm going to need it.