01376: Facing The Mind-Killer

In the books of the A Song of Ice and Fire series, Arya Stark often quotes the Braavosi waterdancer Syrio Forel when she repeats to her, "Fear cuts deeeper than swords." And yesterday's drama, as partially witnessed by my select contacts on my social media networks, had a lot to do with that.

Relationships aren't easy - quite frankly because nothing in life truly is easy. And along the same lines, people are complicated. In fact, we carry at least twice as many of years worth of complication around with us as we've been living on this planet. And it's not because we're bad people or that life goes out of its ways to make things difficult. Complexity is what makes us unique. All these nuances of life experiences and behaviors are what makes us special individuals.

Fear definitely gets in the way of how we are able to operate as people. It makes even the smartest people do some pretty stupid things. Fear cuts right to the core and makes us react instead of coming up with intelligent responses to events and situations. It overrides logic and it makes us forget what is truly important to us and instead we react with out instincts. There's a reason we often attach the term "animal" to that word.

We all fear different things in this life. Some fear unspeakable horrors. Some fear death. Some fear being alone. Some fear being left behind. Some fear having nothing. Fears aren't totally invalid, but they should never become the primary determinants of our behavior. Fear keeps us cautious when needed and helps us avoid danger. But giving in solely to fear above everything else is a path to ruin.

Thus we always temper fear with hope. Better yet, we temper it with love. And this can be the love of family, the platonic affection of friends or the passion of those we hold in heart. Love will see you through.

All relationships have their moments of doubt and fear. It's always easy to give up and walk away. But the things of most value - those of greatest importance in your life - are always worth fighting for. Swallow your pride, focus on love and you'll find a way.
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