0128A: A New Equation For Happiness

So it's finally official - Tobie, Prince and I are now are a...whatever. I don't quite like the term "threesome" since it has overly sexual connotations attached to it in conventional conversation. We could adopt the classic French term Ménage à trois, given it refer to a relationship between three people (although the sexual connotations are still there to some extent). Lanchie, a good friend of ours from PG4M, has started to call us Maharlika, in reference the old Filipino aristocracy who were know to keep multiple spouses. Others have made natural references to Big Love, the show about the Mormon engaged in bigamy. The list goes on and on and I'm sure it'll grow as more people get all caught up with our various relationship status changes and related announcements on Facebook and other social networks.

Will we still call one another partners? Should we just stick to the more generic term boyfriends instead? Since we can't refer to ourselves as a couple, should we instead call ourselves a trio, a triad or maybe just a generic union? Clearly, the vocabulary does not quite exist to accurately describe what the three of us are starting this year. And that means we have a huge opportunity to create new words entirely as we try to document this new path forward. And I'm totally psyched to jump in head first with the loves of my life at my side. Never thought I'd ever aim to be a trailblazer in this particular arena, but I think we're up for the challenge!

It take more than a single blog post to even just begin to explain how we started as just customers at the bar and Prince trying to express himself through a performance art form like poi sometime last year to finding ourselves entering a very serious commitment as of yesterday. But we all don't feel any doubt that there's something between the three of us that's impossible to ignore. Without a doubt there's a lot to be potentially afraid of and we all have our share of concerns and fears. But together, the three of us are far stronger than we are as individuals and thus we're all the better for it. Together it feels like we can accomplish practically anything - and so I can't wait to see what the future holds in store for us.

It's not going to be easy, that's for sure. Some people will think that this was triggered by some perceived deficiency in my relationship with Tobie. Others will think ill of Prince and look at him as some sort of potential home wrecker or something. And while I typically do not care for the opinions of others, I do care for the men I love and don't want people to mistake either of their intentions. There's more than enough love to go around and I'm more than happy to be able to share mine with both Tobie and Prince. And it's more than worth it given I'm also lucky to receive the joys of their love in turn.

Tobie and Prince are both remarkable individuals and I'm lucky to have found both of them. They're both strong in different ways, passionate about their respective arts and creative outputs and pretty crazy funny when they need to be. I could go on and on about what makes them similar and what makes them different, but I suppose I'm better off devoting future blog entries to helping you (assuming someone is reading this) to slowly introducing the world to Prince, why I love him and why Tobie, Prince and I work together as a single unit.

2 + 1 may equal 3 arithmetically speaking, but for us it just means we've found a new way forward that involves love, happiness and honesty. It's bound to be scary. We're bound to have our detractors. But we also have a lot of great friends who have already shown their support and are cheering us on. The three of us are already strong together, and with the support of loved ones we're even stronger.

We're not alone, nor will any of us be ever again. And that's our commitment to one another.
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  1. Lovely post, love love.
    This is definitely a post that captures how I feel about all this.

    1. Thanks love - I do my best to put into words how we feel.

  2. Love indeed, as I put it, has many facets, and is uniquely shared with someone.

    In one of the FGD I facilitated on the topic of Love and Relationships, I discussed that LOVE is not to be viewed, compared or contained to a gift item that you give to someone then give the same to someone else.

    We can love as many people as we want to love, and each love is unique. The intensity however of that shared love to someone brings us to the plane of commitment with each one where we undertake a deep sense of TRUST ... Truthfulness, Respect, Understanding, Sincerity and Trust.

    In our kind of lifestyle, the complex relationship mechanism that is subdued in heterosexual relations are more open and in being so, open as well to scrutiny and ridicule. A majority of PLU tries as much as possible to adhere to the basic heterosexual tenets of relationships... some have lived-up to it while many faltered and keeps repeating the cycle over and over again.

    What I constantly remind our bretheren in the community who are in a relationship is that LOVE should not hinder our growth individualy and as partners, we should strive to build-up a relationship that works for each other's mutual interest and being.

    There are always challenges in every relationship brought about by personal indifferences and resolutions must be made that will not compromise much of that deep sense of TRUST mentioned above.

    Tobie and Rocky has a very unique love for each other, and they both share a unique love for Prince. To Live life in Love always is more better than not to love at all.

    1. That was very well thought-out, Geoff. Thank you for your kind words and your support. Hope to catch you at O Bar soon - at least after we get back from Singapore, hehe.

  3. How about a Collective? So Borg don't you think ^^ but then again, I know how you guys are trying to make people have a better understanding of what you guys have but don't try too hard, and personally, labels are for clothes. People just love them tags to make things easier to categorize, but you cant really easy to quantify or categorize love right? If there is one, either you can make one up [this is a bit off my marker] as things go along or something is bound to come out and into your way anyway. Let the people who see you, see the happiness and positive effects/growth this has, and eventually even without labels am sure they would understand.

    Just love each other, make your private [or public] vows and live with it, for each individual and for the betterment of the whole. In this you have my support, and yeah, I truly understand [probably moreso than most] - K

    1. We'll see about the Collective term, haha, but it may not match the three of us as a whole. =D

      Thanks for the support, Kervs. Really appreciated. We'll do our best to live happy lives and celebrate every moment.


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