01287: The Love Conundrum

I'd like to think that love, as far as we consider it an emotion or an intangible link between individuals, simply is. What I mean by this is that it forever remains an abstract concept - unquantifiable and hard to definitively describe or explain. One cannot measure love nor at times explain what exactly triggers it (or conversely makes it fade away). It's quite the slippery fish that always manages to get away from anyone who attempts to truly capture it and somehow contain it - just like how Heisenberg proved we cannot determine both the speed and the location of an electron at the same time with our current methods of evaluation and study.

While it is said that a thousand monkeys set to task could eventually recreate the works of Shakespeare, I doubt that all the hundreds of thousands of true writers and poets in all of history could ever truly define or accurately describe love. We can only manage to describe aspects of it or vaguely define its effects and some of its triggers without necessarily giving love its full shape. And thus a significant chunk of humanity continues to strive to somehow explain, define and eventually understand what love truly is. It seems a thankless task, but just because it's difficult doesn't mean that it shouldn't be attempted. Thus we keep trying.

Every love that we experience is different. It has a unique flavor in itself and you can't compare one love to another with any sense of accuracy. It's like a near infinite progressions of apples, oranges and whatever other fruit analogies we can come up with. One cannot truly say one is greater than the other. Or that one should be deemed better or worse. Each is unique, special in its own right and it really boils down to the individual to define what is most important to him or her, and thus becomes the basis for evaluating the relationship.

Relationships are just the physical manifestations of the effects of love, or something like that. We all have our principles and beliefs when it comes to relationships - what should and should not be, what will work and what won't. Some of these statements and opinions are pretty well-founded. Others may lack certain basis in the longer term. Whatever it is, the relationship and how it works isn't necessarily a clear indicator of the emotions that drives things behind the scenes. And as much as there are people who think that they understand relationships down to a tee, I doubt they can fully account for the infinite possibilities that live creates for us. IDIC and all that Star Trek jazz.

I feel that especially within the LGBT community, we're in a unique position to redefine how things "work" and what can be considered "acceptable" in the longer term. Since society typically denies us many of the traditional rights such as marriage, hospital visitation rights and even adoption at times, we're left to our own devices to create our own models for behavior and the relation social structures to help us lead happy and fulfilling lives.

I'm both excited and scared at where Tobie and I stand with the introduction of Prince into our lives. It in no way changes or diminishes the depths of my love for Tobie, at least that's what I know and feel to be true. Nor do I feel that Tobie's love for me has changed in any way. If anything, we seem to have reached a point where the love we have for one another seems the same type of love that we ought to be able to share with someone as special and amazing as Prince is. But it's definitely uncharted territory, one fraught with many challenges, dangers and pitfalls.

But I know that we can navigate these murky waters together. There are bound to be a lot of bumps down the road a a heck of a lot of potential misunderstandings. However the goal is certainly worth striving for and investing a lot of effort into. I cannot clearly state where we are on this journey now or how much further we have to go. If anything, we're still pretty close to the beginning as we survey the landscape and try to chart a course. But the destination is certainly a promising one, and it's one that I hope to see within this lifetime.
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  1. This was beautiful, love.
    I do hope Prince likes it too.

    I love you both.

  2. I hope he does too. You know I mean every word.


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