0146D: Misunderstood

by LiamShalloo and Guido Guidi via deviantART

It's hard to maintain relationships of any kind. And I'm not just talking about romantic entanglements - I'm talking about actual friends, whether real life or online. And yes, I firmly believe you can have actual friends online without ever having met the individual in person before. But it's no easier than making friends with a total stranger that you bump into as you walk down the street.

And I do try, I really do. Even it's an action as seemingly shallow as Liking something a contact person on Facebook. It may not be much, but at least you know that I took the time to read what you had to say or I went through the silly cat video that you posted. I invested time in you and by reacting to that update with a Like or a comment or whatever, I wanted to make sure that my presence was felt.

Other times I try to reach out more directly. I try to engage friends in conversations over chat, instant messenger or even text. People don't always reply - I know that we are all busy with our respective lives and responsibilities. But I try to make the effort whenever possible, especially if I haven't heard from that person in a while. It's what friends are supposed to do, right?

But it doesn't always work. We all fall into the trap of our lives. Or sometimes we simply drift apart due to natural reasons. Bottom line is this - when one person in the relationship stops making the effort to talk and reach out, then the relationship will wither and die not matter how much the other party tries to hold things together.

This is my philosophy when it comes to all my relationships, whether "real life" or online. And thus it's the reason I cull my social media contact lists the way I do. And it's not like we can't be friends again once I've severed the primary link between us. There are a gazillion ways for us to reach out to one another. If we really want to make things work again, then we'll find a way to reach and and forge a new connection.

And I say all this since apparently some folks may have the wrong impression about why I "unfriend" contacts on Facebook and such. It's not because of one-off disagreements or differences in opinion. It's not because I think that other people are some how "beneath" me and not worth my time. I'm no better than anyone else. I'm human, like everyone else on this planet. But if the friendship is not working out for one reason or another, then we're better of parting ways whether in person or online rather than we just pretend to be contacts for no true value whatsoever.

And maybe further down the road our paths will cross again, and we just might find a way to work things out and be friends again.